AUTHOR’S NOTE: This column is intended to be entertaining at the expense of truth and accuracy, but I sneak in some good information as well. It is up to the reader to distinguish between entertainment and reality.
Q: How does this work?
A: This NRS “Drop ‘N Drag” is a critical piece of safety equipment, made especially for those infamous Bodson marathons. You tie one end of your painter (not included) to the padeye on the back of the unit, and the other end to the hand grip at the front of your kayak or canoe. Strap it to the deck or set it in your lap, and it is ready to deploy. It is basically a Bluetooth-enabled remote operated vehicle (ROV) that you control from your iPhone or Android. If you get a hitch in your giddy-up at, say, mile 22, you turn it on, throw it over the side and guide it in front of your boat, from where it drags you the rest of the way to your destination so you can arrive refreshed, ready to tackle the inevitable muddy take-out and rope up the steep sixty-feet of crumbling cut bank to the cars. Notice that the unit also has lights for when the trip extends beyond daylight hours.
Q: What is the length of a paddle stroke?
A: The length of a paddle stroke is a matter of perspective. If one considers it from the cockpit of his kayak and deducts the forward movement of the kayak resulting from the perceived three feet of movement along the side of the kayak, it’s a few inches. Moving out a quarter of a million miles and considering the earth as viewed from the moon, the 1-second paddle stroke is close to a quarter of a mile. Moving out further and considering both the rotation of the earth and its orbit around the sun, it comes to 18.5111 miles, give or take a half a mile for the point of rotation relative to the orbit at any given moment.
Moving out several thousand light years (to, let’s say, the Andromeda galaxy), our humble paddle stroke covers about 361 miles, give or take 19 miles, accounting for the rotation and movement of the galaxy through the universe and the lesser positional variations of orbits, rotations and universe expansion.
Q: How do you use the Level Six wrist gasket?
A: When you have a condition like Amy where her wrists hurt so much she can’t sleep at night, these offer support and comfort. It's sort of like a compression sock for the wrist and forearm, like the ones used to support varicose veins in the leg.
Q: What is “progressive vectoring” and how would you use it?
A: Progressive vectoring is a part of situational awareness where you notice a hazard in the corner of your eye, or straight ahead, or anywhere in between, and set a course or strategy to avoid the hazard by incremental course corrections.
Progressive vectoring is less effective in some situations than others:
Public Service Announcement: Progressive vectoring is actually a term used to describe a rope-only technique for generating leverage to unpin a kayak or canoe.
Unpin a Kayak Using Progressive Vectoring
Q: What did Jamaican Jedi master and romance novelist Mooji, né Anthony Paul Moo-goo-guy-Young, say about rivers and, by reverse extension, about life?
Q: In “Phantom of the Opera” there is a song with the words, “Past the point of no return”. Are there moments in kayaking where this could apply?
A: Yes. In fact, there are quite a few. Usually, these moments are preceded by some other exclamations, like, “Aaahhhhh”!
WORD OF THE MONTH:
Fitting several days of supplies, water, emergency, comfort, and camping gear into a 10-foot kayak can seem like a Sisyphean challenge.
GOOD ONE:
MUG O’ THE MONTH:
OVERHEARD . . .
PARTING THOUGHT:
