AUTHOR’S NOTE: The intent of this column is entertainment, usually at the expense of truth and accuracy, but I sneak in some good information as well. It is up to the reader to distinguish between entertainment and reality amidst all the circumlocution and misdirection in these sketches.
Q: Why do you paddle?
A: I love the relaxing, regenerative, peaceful and quiet time communing with water and nature.
Q: Is there some way you can practice or prepare for the Brazos River put-ins?
A: Why yes. Here is a recent photo of Brent Hwang, who has it dialed in about right . . .
Q: What is a “draw” stroke?
A: This is when someone asks Joe Coker how to execute some cool move in a kayak, and he illustrates the way it all comes together with an air drawing of a particular stroke.
Q: What is this device?
A: This is a canoe air bag. You sit on it, and, if it detects water, it will eject you, like what happens in the passenger seat in the car driven by James Bond. This would have come in handy when I was paddling with my granddaughter, who was draped across the bow of the canoe, dragging her legs and arms in the water. I could have conveniently splashed her air bag and sent her skyward.
Q: What did Brazilian author Paulo “John Phillip” Coelho de Souza say that would be relevant to paddling?
A: This one is for Alice:
“You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.”
Q: Can you think of any “What were they thinking” scenarios in our paddling world?
A: Why yes, as a matter of fact, this photo shows people in fiberglass boats paddling in big waves next to pointy rocks. Imagining some of the pointy rocks are slightly under water, I’m thinking, IMHO, that people in glass boats should not paddle around pointy rocks in heavy seas.
WORD OF THE MONTH: Apricate
Definition:
to bask in the sun, or expose to the sun
Used in a sentence:
On Bruce’s summer trips, participants are accustomed to apricating for extended periods.
NEW FEATURE: THE LOCH NESS CREATURE
I was sitting on the bench near my pond this morning (7/21), after moving hoses and spraying some disgusting scent on our fruit trees and grape vines to discourage the deer from beating us to our rightful harvest, when I noticed a much larger wake making its way across the surface of the pond than the ones emanating from the usual turtles. At first, I couldn’t tell what it was, because it was on the other side our half-acre the pond. But, with my astute powers of observation, I determined by size and speed that it was probably either a nutria or a beaver. I started snapping pictures of it with my cell phone, which, at that range, was somewhat pointless, but I did capture the image that, enlarged, started this little treatise and, with its graininess and general fuzziness, gave me the thought about the Loch Ness situation. The original photo it came from is below:
Quite a wake, huh? This creature swam around the far side of our pond until he finally came to the edge of it closer to me, where I was able to take this photo of him:
Mystery solved: It’s the Loch Ness Beaver. I don’t know how long this feature will run – maybe this is the first and last installment. Time will tell, as it often does. Current conjecture: the stream behind our pond has dried up, leaving only a few of the deeper pools. He may be a scout looking for more water. Your thoughts?
GOOD ONE:
MUG O’ THE MONTH:
OVERHEARD . . .
PARTING THOUGHT:
