AUTHOR’S NOTE: This column is intended to be entertaining at the expense of truth and accuracy, but I sneak in some good information as well. It is up to the reader to distinguish between entertainment and reality.
Q: Where is this cave?
A: I don’t know. Looks kind of like a Northern Arizona or Southern Utah landscape to me.
Q: Christy recently announced a 20-day trip on Armand Bayou. What would we do for 20 days on Armand Bayou?
A: Armand Bayou is certainly an interesting place, but I have no idea what a diverse group of people would do for 20 days there. Maybe Bruce would know.
Q: How do you know if an alligator is in an aggressive mood?
Chasing Prey
A: If you try to pet him and he bites you, he’s just being an alligator. If you are minding your own business more than 100 feet away and he swims toward you at high speed (large wake, lots of noise, 20mph) and opens his mouth when he gets close to you, he’s in an aggressive mood, or he’s very hungry. Either way, I wouldn’t turn my back on him at that moment.
Check this out: Alligator attacks North Carolina kayaker - YouTube
Q: How rough does Lake Charlotte get when the wind whips up in the afternoons?
A: 
Joe Coker on Lake Charlotte
Q: What did James Dashner (The Maze Runner) say that could relate to canoeing/kayaking?
James “Jimmy the Strange” Dashner
A: Jimmy essentially plagiarized my event orientation speech when he said, “Be careful. Don’t die.” He left out the bit about staying right-side-up, which is pretty important if you happen to cross an aggressive alligator.
Q: Can you show a photo of risky behavior in a kayak?
A: Sure. This one is amazing – a remote desert location, no PFDs, no food or water, no hats, no sunglasses, no shoes, and I would be surprised if any of the girls thought to put sunscreen on their white legs.
GOOD ONE
Kayak launch ramp at Champion Lake
MUG O’ THE MONTH:
OVERHEARD...
