AUTHOR’S NOTE: This column is intended to be entertaining at the expense of truth and accuracy, but I sneak in some good information as well. It is up to the reader to distinguish between entertainment and reality.
Q: What is the best way to accumulate miles toward the club’s 100-miler award??
A1: Coordinate a whole bunch of local trips and round up the mileage on each one – it adds up.
A2: Go on three Bodson Marathons.
A3: Go on three multi-day Walters Wanderings.
A4: Any combination of the above.
Q: What, exactly, is “herping”?
Herping
A: Herping is the outward manifestation of an unhealthy contact with putrid water, typically from transferring a virus from water to hand to mouth, producing the herpes-like sores, blisters and scabs around the mouth following a Bruce Bodson trip.
Q: There are several sports, hobbies and avocations that align with kayaking and canoeing, like photography, birdwatching, fishing, herping, etc. What is an activity that you personally participate in that does not intersect so seamlessly with canoeing/kayaking?
Some Sports Do Not Intersect
A: Paragliding comes to mind.
Q: What did Kurt Vonnegut say that could relate to canoeing and our club members?
Young Kurt
A1: It’s good to be bad at things you enjoy.
A2: If people think nature is their friend, then they sure don’t need an enemy.
Slightly Older Kurt
A3: I want to stand as close to the edge as possible without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center.
Kurt Caricature
A4: Science is magic that works.
Kurt the Elder (After Geraldo)
A5: If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you’re a one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind.
Q: What is the most disturbing image of kayaking you have encountered?
Q: Is there ever a time when a PFD will not help you in a canoe or kayak?
PFD Will Not Help You
A1: When you don’t fall out of your boat
A2: When you don’t have it adjusted properly (ask Alice about this)
A3: When you and/or your canoe/kayak are hit by lightning
In other words, most of the time a PFD will not help you. Now, if you only knew ahead of time the exact moment it would help you . . .
MUG O’ THE MONTH:
OVERHEARD...
