AUTHOR’S NOTE: This column is intended to be entertaining at the expense of truth and accuracy, but I sneak in some good information as well. It is up to the reader to distinguish between entertainment and reality.
Q: What is this kayaker doing in the whale’s mouth?
A1: This is Steve, a Sitka dentist. He had the somewhat unorthodox idea of examining and cleaning the whale’s teeth. Imagine his surprise when he found only gums.
A2: You’ve heard of the Darwin awards, right? Steve was tossing his hat in the ring for the Jonah awards.
Q: I have heard the word “lore” before, but I forgot in what context, and I don’t remember what it meant. Do you know?
A: Yes, but I’ve got to tell you, it would have been much less time-consuming and far more reliable for you to look it up yourself. In the context of paddling, a lore is:
A1: Similar to the Kraken described in the September “episode” of Paddling Perspectives. The principle difference between a kraken and a lore is its size, hence its potential to do a lot more damage. The lore is along the lines of the creatures in the “edge of the world” map monster drawings of the 15th century. I would not want to run into one, with or without Bruce Bodson.
A2: A myth, a legend or a traditional story, like that of the kraken.
A3: The reinforced holes in your shoes that shoelaces go through.
A4: The non-feathered portion of a bird between its beak and its eyes.
Q: Why are you supposed to have painters?
A1: As in the photo above, you never know when you might want to hang out in your canoe between two cliffs. If you don’t have the appropriate lengths of bow and stern painters, you won’t have a choice in the matter and will have to let the opportunity pass you by.
A2: You need painters in case you go on a trip with Bruce Bodson – the longer the better. You need them to lower your boat to the put-in and raise your boat to the take-out, and to rig belays to get yourself to the same points.
Q: Where was this photo taken?
A: I don’t know, but I know it was not taken on the Brazos.
Q: Why canoeing?
A1: I think Herman Melville answers this best when he describes the attractive hardships of the sailor’s life – “With other men, perhaps such things would not have been inducements, but as for me, I am tormented with an everlasting itch for things remote.” You can personalize this by filling in your own favorite adjective for Herman’s “remote”.
MUG O’ THE MONTH:
OVERHEARD . . .